The other day I did like a million loads of laundry at the good ole laundromat
(why the heck is it spelled like that??? Weird.)
Anyways, I had a mini quarter-life crisis as I pondered my 29 years of life.
Here's how it all started...
Chucky Cheese vs Vegas
Let me just say, doing laundry sucks. Period. Dragging hella garbage bags full of dirty clothes up and down stairs, in and out of #BlueIvy (my blue Nissan Versa purchased on Beyonce's birthday, thus named after her first child) and into them big-ole public, germ infested machines = no bueno. (Yes, I was slanging garbage bag of clothes. Is that ghetto? #noShame.)
I was annoyed because the machines at this particular location are still living in 1999 and ran only on quarters -_- Ugh. Luckily I had a random $20 on me, and after 8 attempts, stuffed that thing into the change machine. I drew all kinds of unwanted attention as it shot out coins for daaaays! Sounded like I was at Chucky Cheese getting tokens. For a second, I imagined I was in Vegas winning the lottery with my girls like an epic scene from Bridesmaids! But nope, I was not #winning at life, simply getting quarters for overpriced washers & dryers. womp.womp.
I decided to post up in my car for the next 2 hours. So with my gangsta lean I laid in the drivers seat pondering my whole entire life! To keep it 100 I started having a mini pity party, listing off the things and ways "my 20's have failed"....
" I am doing laundry on a Friday night in LA, ALONE. I am dang near 30 years old and no where NEEEAR my dream of becoming a hott wife, let alone the mother of my six chocolate, #woke babies. I'm still living in a rented space, and still not earning enough money to make a dent in my student loan repayments." :(
I sat in my car super salty, and frustrated. I started mourning my losses, absence of dreams manifested, and unfulfilled expectations I had for both myself and of God. My thoughts went super left which impacted my words. I quickly felt like a paralyzed bum. A complete L-7 Weenie. WTH.
Gate called Beautiful
I was reminded of the Bible story in Acts about Peter, John & a crippled man at the gate called Beautiful. This certain man had been crippled from birth, and always laid outside this gate hitting people up for money. Peter and John would pass the guy on their way into the temple for daily prayer.
The Bible tells us that one day as the man began to beg, expecting to receive something that would bring temporal relief to his necessity, Peter being the radical dope guy he was responded,
“Look! I don’t have money to give you bruh, but what
I DO have is this here WORD that will change.your.life! I’m speaking with the power and authority Jesus has given me.
Rise and get yo' life son!!”
[*MAV Melody Amber Version. : ) haha]
He got up
The Bible goes on to tell us this once crippled man was miraculously healed! What started off as an expectation for some quarters ends up being a supernatural blessing that elevated this man's entire life waaaaay beyond what he had imagined.
He grabbed him by the right hand and pulled him up. In an instant his feet and ankles became firm. He jumped to his feet and walked.
8-10 The man went into the Temple with them, walking back and forth, dancing and praising God.
Acts 3:7-8 MSG
I was immediately reminded of the power of my words. I was feeling like crap, because I was speaking crap. Yes, the facts are my life isn't exactly the way I planned years ago. But instead of dwelling on the "fails", I needed to count my MANY blessings & SPEAK God's truth about my life!
"God's words have power, and because God created us in His image, our words have power."
Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.
Proverbs 18:21 MSG
I sat in the car and started preaching to my self as if I were Peter speaking to the crippled man liiiiike,
"Rise, Melody! Quit feeling paralyzed and stuck. Get up! Look at the ways God continues to bless you simply because He loves you! Walk into the beautiful gates He's opened for you! Don't wait for or expect only the things that will bring temporary relief. Live out the dreams and visions God has given you for now! Continue to seek Him FIRST and He will add ALL things unto you!"
When life gives you 80 quarters in a laundromat don't have a crisis :)
Thanks for reading!!
XOXO- Melody Amber
(Read more: A Fool or Na?)